We all go through down times. These down times are, many times, caused by everyday things that hover over us like a dark cloud spewing thunder, lightning and rain. Sometimes they are caused by huge, life changing
events, and we are constantly reminded of how our lives have changed by the turmoil we find ourselves in.
For these reasons, maintaining a healthy and positive outlook on life is extremely difficult.
What are we to do when we are stuck in depression and negativity, unable to do the things, or perform the tasks we had been accustomed to?
However hard it is to have a good attitude or to hope, we must always realize that the alternative, being grumpy and hope-less, is not where we want to be. If we don’t have hope, it is easy to sink into depression and despair. Having hope is a way of being that makes our daily lives easier and gives us a reason for living.
Knowing that, however, doesn’t make it any easier to hope. Generating hope is difficult, and the harsh reality is that hope is not going to magically drop into our laps.
For some ideas on how to find hope we can look to a man who was imprisoned in Siberia, to see how he was able to deal with harsh conditions and hopelessness.
In his book, “House of the Dead”, Fyodor Dostoevsky details his time in Siberia. He felt that the drudgery and the pointlessness of the inmates’ lives took away the most human emotion, hope. Without hope, the prisoners were reduced to shells of themselves, as they went through the motions, simply existing from day to day.
Dostoevsky writes how some prisoners, the happier ones, or the ones with a good attitude, found it easier to endure their sentence, as opposed to the ones who sulked all day, miserable.
We all react so differently to our situations. Why do some of us thrive and fight, while others see every setback or hardship as a calamity, and stay stuck in that place with no hope? Maybe if we knew the answer, we could find a way to approach our situation differently.
There is something in each of us that causes us to look at the cup as half-full rather than half-empty. This “something” also causes us to either just go through the motions of our lives, or to thrive in the face of adversity. When the adversity we face has a very negative effect on our attitude, it also affects our ability to function and live a fulfilled life. Having no hope makes it impossible to see a positive outcome.
Winter, Spring and Hope
But how do we have hope when the adversity is great and everything looks so bleak, or we have constant pain, or we just can’t function the way we used to?
Having hope can be difficult, and the reality is that hope is not going to find us. We have to go out and find it, and we have to find it at the absolute worst time, just when everything looks absolutely hope-less. What if it is just too difficult to find hope?
Well, if we cannot find that glimmer of hope we are then going to have to manufacture it. We are going to have to manufacture hope by looking for something to drive us forward and to hold out there as a goal. That thing that drives us, day in and day out, is purpose.
Your purpose might be your kids, or your job, your work for the community, or living a fulfilled life. Our purpose is what drives us. We thrive on purpose. Our purpose takes precedence over all other wants.
With a purpose we have a battle to fight, and having something to fight for, a future we can dream about, by definition, gives us hope.
Find that glimmer of hope that drives you and makes your life worthwhile by first finding your purpose. Like a gold miner, dig and scrape until you find the shiny nugget that represents hope. When you find it, honor it and honor your life by going after it, by not giving up, and by fighting the hard battles we have to fight every day. Thrive on the promise that living your life holds, and thrive on the dream of finding more nuggets.
Hey, Jeff. I have a hard time reading against the gray background.
Also I am wondering if there is a specific injury that organically changes the brain to reduce hope, which would make it more difficult to ‘attain’ hope.
That’s a very good question, Herb. The brain can be affected in so many ways that we don’t understand, that’s very possible. That’s one of the things that make it so difficult to write a blog like this. Peoples’ experiences are so different, and their makeups are so different, it’s hard to write something without feeling as though you’re making assumptions and generalizing. Thanks for reading ad commenting.
Thank you Jeff,
This is my first time responding to anything I’ve read on linked in or on my recently diagnosed TBI. I do agree it was hard to read against the background color choice as my TBI has greatly impaired my vision. About a week ago they were able to make me mrw glasses, I am now able to read regular size print again. As you said there are a lot of ups and even more downs. It’s was so reasurring to me to know there are others that are feeling the way I have been the last few months. So, again thank you. I take so much pride in my work as a social worker I have just burried myself in my work and use the technology I have available to enlarge and take extra time to write things down in detail so I don’t have to worry about remembering things later if I get pulled in ten directions before I get to enter the information. Ive been a social worker for nearly 20 years and I’ve never had a job that everyday I have to prioritize and then re-prioritize, but I everyday when I’m there no matter how bad my migraines are or how bad I feel I also can see others that have it worse than me. This is my motivation and gives me purpose as well as raising a son whose about to graduate and head off to college. Believe me, there have been many days I have to convince myself “I can do it” ; sometimes I don’t even want to. I look forward to the day of waking up without pain and enjoying my life again. But for now, I am happy to have some purpose and feel like I can make a difference in someone else’s life. I look forward to reading more of your articles and to better days ahead.
On Feb 19th Herb commented, ” Also I am wondering if there is a specific injury that organically changes the brain to reduce hope, which would make it more difficult to ‘attain’ hope”
This is a discussion I’ve had recently with a friend whom has not only a TMI but a craniopharengioma, pardon the spelling, and then after the surgical removal of that had the tumor return in the pituitary gland. He received cyber knife treatment which took care of the tumor but left him with no glandular function.
The back lobe of the pituitary gland is where we produce oxitocin which aides in child birthing but is also thought to aide in social bonding as well. The frontal lobe send signals to the thyroid gland and if you are low on thyroid production, that in itself can cause some depression.
I don’t know if your trauma could have effected the pituitary gland but once this gland is injured it does not heal itself. If I were you, I would ask to be seen by a good Endocrinologist and have not just your regular run of the mill glandular functioning testing done, but have testing done that tells them what signals the pituitary gland is sending out. It is a bit more in depth testing, but glandular health is very important to quality of life.
Good luck Herb,
StephanieStandingStrong
@ Inspire.com
I have lost Hope
I understand you go through periods for this area. I was a worker, engineer but never never a woman of any house keeping interest. I paid others and I will say I always had a spotless even with a sheepdog in the house.
Now, I am home. My cognitive issues and Hemiplegic migraine pain is so instance. The support is very lacking in my spouse which is my main provider.
The anger and frustration he pours out on me for wanting the old Deborah back does not help our life.
So with that said: it is for me one day at a time and do things like this to reach out to others to keep me going now.
Hope my brain moves back into the happier zone
Sincerely,
Deborah M Krupp